4 Things Men Secretly Want, and How to Give It To Them

There are definitely things men want in their relationships, but most of the time they feel like they aren't supposed to talk about this kind of stuff...

Although men may be among the simplest creatures on earth, they are not without wants and desires. When it comes to things that men secretly want, the list is small but important. The sooner women realize that there is more to their guy than him needing a sandwich, beer and sex regularly, the happier they will make him in the long run.

Secret Want #1: Support & Understanding

Women spend a lot of time complaining to their friends about how their man reacts to conversations, situations and scenarios, instead of putting themselves in their guys’ shoes. This typically happens during disagreements regarding family, friends and work. Women tend to take a selfish “Here’s what I think, and anything else is wrong” standpoint when they talk with their guys. Although your man is ready for this stance, he would love — for once — to hear you say, “What can I do to support you?”

Men have problems too. They exist at work, with their parents, siblings, friends, and with themselves, just like women do. Just because they don’t cry or get sad at every scenario doesn’t mean that it does not bother them. When this happens, no matter what it is, it is up to the woman in his life to stand beside him and support his stance. If he is mad at his parents for something, he needs you to stand beside him until he works it out on his own. If he has to work late for a couple of weeks, he needs you understand that the two of you will not be having dinner together for a while, and for you not to complain about it each night when he gets home.

Supporting your boyfriend or husband is easy. It does not require you to throw out your belief system; it simply takes understanding and compassion. If you can provide this assistance to your friends, why can’t you do the same for your beloved?

Secret Want #2: Their Masculinity

Women seem to get swept away in making decisions for their household — on behalf of their boyfriends. There is a lot of “We are doing this on this day” in relationships, mostly on the part of the woman. They also get to decide the paint colors they are using in the home, what’s for dinner, and how much of it everyone can eat. They make decisions that aren’t theirs to make, and leave their man standing alone without an opinion on the matter. This is flat out unfair, and it is emasculating.

Men like to be in charge of what is happening in their relationships, and it is okay to let him have control. Let him make decisions, without criticizing the outcome. Allow him to drive from one place to another without criticizing him the entire way. Let him tell you “no” when it is appropriate, without throwing a fit because you didn’t get your way. The best way to make this happen is to listen to what your man has to say, and agree to see where it goes. You do not have to plan everything you do, every minute of the day. Allow him to participate in the relationship, without calling his ideas stupid or judging his stance. It’s that simple.

Secret Need #3: Space

Women have this crazy notion that if their boyfriend or husband just wants to stay home and watch a baseball game that he doesn’t want to be with them. Suddenly, accusations begin flying about him not wanting to participate in the relationship, or how he dislikes someone that is going to be wherever she is going. The truth is, he just wants to sit and watch the game in peace. He wants to yell at the umpires for bad calls without you saying he’s an idiot for yelling at the television. He wants to grille a giant steak, and eat it without a single side dish, while he has a beer or two. It does not mean that he doesn’t love you, or won’t make it to the next social outing. It just means that right now, at this very moment, a game, a steak and a beer all by himself sounds like heaven. You should understand this, and encourage his enjoyment of these things. He doesn’t get to do it very often, so give him the space to enjoy it when he can.

Secret Need #4: You to Take Care of Yourself

This is a very tricky need, because women are incredibly sensitive about their appearance, weight and mental capacity. This means it is hard for your boyfriend or husband to point out that you are gaining a few pounds, or wearing yoga pants way more often than you are regular clothes. Women take these comments as an attack on their physical make-up, instead of them being about their physical well-being. If you are gaining weight exponentially, something is wrong and you two need to get to the root of it. Adding 20 pounds to your frame means it’s too late, and it is going to be a long road back to your previous size. You don’t want that, and neither does your man, so address the issues that are causing you to overeat.

Likewise, if you are crying all of the time, or becoming enraged by the smallest issues, something is wrong that may have nothing to do with your man. These issues need to be addressed through any outlet that will help. Eating right, exercising, therapy or even medication can apply in some cases. It is important that you take care of yourself, so he knows that you will be around to take care of him.

In the end, that is all men really want. They want to be first in your life, and for you to want them to be first. They want to have you all to themselves, even if that is absolutely impossible. Men want the woman they love to love them back, all of the time. Finally, they just want the phrases, “Good morning, handsome!” and “Good night, my love!” to bookmark their days, with an “I love you!” sprinkled in between.

Did You Enjoy This Article?

Read Him Like a BookYou can pick up my best-selling Kindle ebook, ‘Read Him Like a Book’, which will teach you how to read your man’s (or any man’s) body language to pick up on what they’re really thinking. This will help you immensely in dating and in your relationships. You can read what actual readers have said about it by clicking here…


  • Eve?

    Reply Reply

    I really enjoyed reading both of your books. Make him commit,, and Read him like a book. I have been dating a man for six months now using your strategies before I had a chance to read them. It was good to know I was on the right track after reading them because your insight was very accurate. I will add, Read him like a book helped me get a clearer understanding of his stance on situations.

    • Nate

      Reply Reply

      Hi Eve- I’m glad they’ve been helpful. Thanks for reading!

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