Do You Make These Mistakes On First Dates?

Nate Truman

Once you have reached a comfort level with another, after who knows how many phones calls, text messages and emails have exchanged between the two of you, something always still seems tricky about first date etiquette. What are you going to wear? Where are you going to go? Who’s going to drive? Women definitely put a lot more thought into this than men do. It will almost certainly be the case that the woman has spent over an hour making sure every detail of her outfit, hair and make-up is perfect, while at the same time she will be lucky if the guy changes his shirt beforehand. It is just how it works, and with any luck, he will have showered and put on something decent to squire you about town. Now all that’s left is avoiding the pitfalls of the first date, to insure there will be a second one.

Talkie, Talkie, Talkie

Listen: Guys do not need to know everything about you on a first date. They just don’t. It is in a woman’s nature to want to extract as much information as possible from the guy while they have him face to face, but guys do not want the same — nor do they want to share their life story with you. They do not need to know that your mother is on her third marriage, or that your brother is in jail. He simply wants to know what kind of music you like, or that you are open to the possibility of going to a baseball game in the future. No matter how much you have “talked” through social networking, text messages or email, the very first date should be reserved for likes, dislikes, trying new foods or showing off your ability to park somewhere for free. Nothing more should come out of this joyful yet nervous event, except for a second date. If you spend the entire time talking, his eyes will eventually roll back into his head, as he reminds himself that he just needs to get through the main course before somehow calling it a night.

Overt Displays of Self-Importance

Even if you are a Supreme Court Justice, a first date is not the time to go on and on about all of your grand accomplishments. It is a time to get to know each other better, and to share a few funny stories about why you don’t eat olives anymore — or how you got a scar on your forehead. It is not the time to brag about your work, how much money you make, or how popular you are any other time of day. Right now it is just the two of you enjoying a date, not time to exchange dossiers for review over appetizers.

Intimate Encounters

If it is at all possible, keep your clothes on during and after your first date. If you want to see this guy again, do not sleep with him after dinner. Sure, sometimes alcohol comes into play, and things get a little playful and steamy, but it is important to show some respect for yourself, and to know when it is time to call a cab to get you home safely. There will be plenty of time for sex when you two get to know each other a little better. If you followed the previous rule, you still will not know that his girlfriend JUST moved out the day before. So he really doesn’t need to be having sex with anyone either. It is okay to take it slow, and to get to know each other better.

Social Networking & Phone Usage

There is absolutely no reason in the world that the two person table you are sitting at should look like a war room, with both of your phones at the ready in case the President calls. Granted, this is different for people who have children with a sitter, and if that is the case say so. Generally speaking, however, your phones should be tucked away and the person you are with should have your undivided attention. It is not an opportunity to post your status or location to Facebook, and it certainly is not time to check-in with your girlfriends to report back about how it is going. If you do either one of those things, everyone should assume it is going terribly. At least he will.

Being a Jerk

Sometimes people have terrible days, and those days coincide with the same night they have scheduled a first date. Since everyone is an adult, they keep their commitment and can sometimes let the day’s happenings interfere with a good time. Just do not let it be you. You do not have to say mean things, stomp off, or sit and stew with preoccupied negativity. Unless the person you are with caused this behavior — which is doubtful — you need to adjust your attitude for the occasion. Dating is a grown up’s game, and the only way you can play is to act like one.

First dates are tricky, and it is certainly okay to tell someone you are nervous, in an effort to have a normal conversation. Just don’t go off the deep end, rambling about how long it has been since you were on a date last, or order too many drinks to help calm your nerves. Relax, be honest, smile and have fun!

Can You Read His Body Language?

Read Him Like a BookHINT: Most women aren’t as good at it as they think… My best-selling Kindle ebook, ‘Read Him Like a Book’, which will teach you how to read your man’s (or any man’s) body language to pick up on what they’re really thinking. This will help you immensely in dating and in your relationships. You can read what actual readers have said about it by clicking here…

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