The One Conversation To Not Have In a Brand New Relationship

Everyone has had relationships go bad at some point that we wish had worked out. It’s really hard to try and pinpoint what exactly went wrong, but the bottom line is that the connection just wasn’t there for both of you. And, most people try to convince themselves that they didn’t do anything wrong.

You hear that advice all the time…. “their loss” type of thing. And that may be true, and is always true in some respects. At the same time, there is always something that you did wrong as well, and you should spend at least as much time figuring that out as you do blaming the other person for why things didn’t work out.

What Not to Do

Have you ever spent a lot of time with a new guy and the more you liked him, the more insecure you felt? That’s the beginning of a bad pattern because what most people do when they start to feel intense attraction and they really want things to work out with someone, they start showing their insecurity.

Insecurity and neediness is a huge turnoff. About a year ago my wife’s younger sister came to visit us but she also had a guy in our area that she was coming to visit. She had only gone on one or two dates with this guy previously. On the second day of her visit, she came back from maybe her third date with him and things had clearly not gone well.

Why Men Turn Off

My wife and I asked her about it and she told us that she had tried to talk with him about where he saw their relationship going and he “acted weird about it”. When she revealed that I made the “yikes” face and then explained the problem with that. Hopefully you already know why that’s a turnoff.

This is the exact same idea as when a salesman asks you if you need help with anything as soon as you walk into the store… it’s just too soon. The first few weeks of dating someone new should just be fun; give him a chance to really get to know you and vice versa. You can’t verbally convince someone to be attracted to you.

One of the biggest turnoffs is when someone tries to tell you why you should like them and be their boyfriend or girlfriend. That just doesn’t work.

You should avoid the DTR(determine-the-relationship) conversation until you’ve both had a chance to really get to know each other and you know that he’s into you as well.

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