why do men lose interest

Why Do Men Lose Interest?

When it comes to the reasons why men lose interest, there are a lot, and I can’t possibly go over all of them right now, so I won’t try to. But what I’m going to do is go over some of the most common reasons why men lose interest.

Now, before we get started into these reasons, you need to understand that, or just keep in mind that, relationships are a 50-50 decision. So, you’re not in control all of the time of what the guy you’re dating thinks of you or his perception as time goes on. And statistically, you’re not going to meet Mr. Right this week, and the guy that you’re dating right now probably isn’t the one that you’re going to spend your life with.

That’s just how relationships work.

You date a lot of people to try and figure that out. And so, especially for men, at some point, he might make just a “business decision” that there’s just something that’s off and you’re not the one for him. And you can make the same decision about different men that you’re dating. It doesn’t matter. So, take all these with a grain of salt, coupled with the fact that on average the next guy you meet isn’t going to be Mr. Right for you or your knight in shining armor… it’s just part of the process. Chock it up to the game. Whatever you want to call it. So, don’t get too bent out of shape about one guy.

So, let’s get into some of these specific reasons and, you know, you can analyze these. See if they apply to your situation. And if they don’t, then great, but these are some of the common reasons why men lose interest in women.

 

Reason #1: The Physical Attraction Has Gone Bye-Bye

So, the first big one is that the attraction just isn’t there. And this is complex. I can’t give the best summary or lesson on attraction and all the different forms, and everything going on there. But the main idea is that a lot of times the attraction just isn’t there, or the attraction doesn’t last. So, first of all, one of the things that happens is a lot of guys are out there to just have a one-night stand or have different flings. And so, I guess this sounds harsh to say, but they’ll lower their standards, so to speak, to where they’ll have this one night stand or they’ll have a several-date fling with women that they normally wouldn’t want to marry, and that’s just the reality. That’s what happens.

Women do the same thing. You know, if you’re drunk, you’re out the bar and all you want to do is get laid, then everyone is willing to just kind of take what they can get kind of thing. So, maybe that happened and, again, don’t apply this overall to your whole life and have an identity crisis. Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe it’s not. It doesn’t matter. Just move on.

So, some of the other things with attraction is you might be dating a guy and it might actually be going well, and he just makes a decision at some point that the physical attraction just isn’t there. And again, that’s not something you can control. You can’t have this whole identity crisis over that, even if he flat-out tells you, you know, when you break up, “Ah, just don’t feel it anymore… I’m just not sexually attracted to you.”

If that’s what he says, that’s this one guy’s opinion. You can either decide that if you feel like you’ve got things to work on, if you want to lose weight or if you – I don’t know – need a makeover, or whatever it is, that’s up to you to decide.

Don’t let one guy’s opinion determine your self-worth, one guy that you dated for two weeks and he turns out to be an asshole. Don’t let that determine, you know, your whole opinion of ‘if you’re attractive or not’, because that’s not how you should base that. Now, again, on your side, if you know there are things you should improve, everybody looks better when they’re at a healthy bodyweight. You don’t have to be a supermodel, but everybody, including men, is just more attractive when they’ve lost weight or when they’re just a normal, healthy bodyweight. So, if that’s one of your things that you know you need to work on, then do it. Just take care of it and you’ll see a huge increase in the amount of attention that you get from men, but along with that comes a whole new set of problems.

a couple ignoring each other

But that’s not the topic of this post. So, if the attraction is not there, then it’s not there. You have two options, and you can apply both to any given situation. The first option is to realize that it’s just one guy’s opinion, and if you’re completely happy with yourself, then great, you don’t need to do anything different. You just need to keep dating and meeting new men, and try to just keep going on that process of finding Mr. Right. That’s all you have to do, and it doesn’t mean any more or less than that. And the second thing is if this is kind of a pattern and you know there’s just things that you should fix or work on to make yourself more physically attractive, then do them.

But that won’t cure all your relationship problems. A lot of guys are still jerks. That doesn’t change anything. The more attractive you get, the more jerks you will meet and that will hit on you, but you’ll have a lot more to choose from. That’s just the reality.

Reason #2: The Chase Is Over

So, the next point here is that the chase is over. Now, again, I kind of mentioned this already in a different form, but for a lot of men, single guys that are just out to have a good time, they want to have sex with as many women as humanly possibly. They’re just interested in the chase. That’s the exciting part, and if you just happen to not be the woman for this one guy that’s going to get him locked down and out of the game, then that’s all it was and you need to move on. Statistically, this one guy you’re with right now probably isn’t the guy for you in the long-term. Maybe he is, but odds are he’s not. So, if he wants to move on, that’s fine. You just keep going. Don’t ever get hung up on one guy.

Sometimes it’s just as simple as that. The chase for him is over, and that’s just something that happens.

 

Reason #3: You’re Boring

The next thing is that you’re boring. There isn’t specifically a woman problem. There are a lot of guys that are just boring. And if you’ve been on a date with this type of guy, this might happen to you. You know, he might be the boring one. This is just something that happens. If you go on three dates, or four dates, or five dates and you feel like you’ve talked about everything there is to talk about, then there’s nothing else to talk about. He might break it off. You might break it off. If your friends, if your close friends and your family have ever mentioned things like: “You know what you need?…. You need a hobby,” or, “Well, what kind of stuff are you into?,”

If there is just not a whole lot to you, you’ve got to find things that you’re interested in that you’re passionate about.

One of the best things to do is to forget about dating altogether for a while and just get involved and figure out what your passions are. Find one new hobby or two new hobbies that you’re really into, and chances are you’ll meet people that you can date once you get into these new hobbies… whatever they are. It might be rock climbing. It might be running. It might be trail running. It might be just working out at the gym, becoming a fitness fanatic. Whatever. Dancing. I have no idea. Just any kinds of hobbies. But if you go to work and then you go home and you just watch TV with your cat… I mean that’s up to you. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but if you start dating these guys and they find out that’s all there is to you, normal guys… normal, confident men with a lot of things going on in their life and that have things going for them – that’s just not what they’re looking for.

 

Reason #4: You Try To Have Serious Relationship Conversations Way Too Soon

So, the next point kind of goes along with the boring theme; it’s that a lot of women try to pin guys down, like through conversations and questions, before they have the clout or before they’ve given anything in exchange to make the guy interested in what they’re asking him.

So, what I’m talking about here is basically you’re having the DTR way too soon (determine the relationship). You’re asking the guy what he thinks about “us”, where things are headed. You’re trying to get too serious too soon. So, before you’ve really demonstrated your value or really gotten him hooked and into you a hundred percent, you’re asking him things like: “Well, when can I meet your family,” or, “So, are we together? Are we official?” Stuff like that.

If you consistently start worrying about this kind of stuff after like the second or third date, then you’re doing this way too soon and you’re pushing men away probably, I’m guessing, every time. So, if this keeps happening to you, you need to learn to relax. Not think about anything serious for like five or six dates, at least, and just have fun. Be a fun, outgoing person. Don’t bring up these serious topics. That is the number one buzz kill when you’re dating someone new. If you’re dating young guys, I mean a lot of young guys have no plans of getting serious any time soon. And it happens when they meet right girl. I mean it happens, but you can’t try to force it.

But you cannot just bring that stuff up before you’ve got him hooked. You want to put off those kinds of questions and conversations for a long, long time. And ideally, you kind of act like you’re the one who’s in control or that you don’t really care about the relationship, so that he’s the one that starts bringing that kind of stuff up. Then you’ve got him hooked. When it’s his idea, I mean it’s all over. You’ve got him hooked.

 

Reason #5: You Can’t Shutup About Your Past Relationships

So, the next point – this is very common – is that you can’t shut up about your past relationships. How big of an asshole your ex-boyfriend is, or your ex-husband, or you swear you’re over this guy, but you keep talking to him and having fights with him, or you know, you can’t seem to leave him alone. A new guy will pick up on that instantly and be done with you instantly. I mean… no guy wants a bunch of baggage and these ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands to deal with. So, if you’re not completely over your ex, keep your mouth shut about it and leave the ex completely alone until you’re – well, the healthiest thing you can do is just stop talking to him period. Get completely over it. You cannot keep talking about the ex or keep in contact with the ex and expect to have any kind of healthy, new dating relationships happen.

So, if you’ve got a crazy ex in your life, figure out how to get them out of your life or don’t expect to get into any new, healthy, long-term relationships anytime soon.

So, those are some of the main ways that guys lose interest quickly or even after a few months. Again, take those all with a grain of salt. Think about them. Do they apply? Honestly assess yourself. Do they apply to your situation?

If they don’t, you’ll instantly know they don’t, and so you don’t have to worry about them. But if you think one might, really think about it and be honest with yourself, and just figure out how to take care of it.

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